by L.T. Goto
A mock commercial heard recently on a popular, LA morning-drive radio program..."Men, when you go to sleep at night, ask yourself this question, 'Is my penis safe?' Statistics show that if you sleep in the same room with a female, it may not be. Well, put those fears and anxieties behind you. Because from the makers of the 'Crypt Lock' comes the 'Cock Lock.' The Cock Lock secures your manhood with a metal sheath that can withstand up to 2000 pounds of lateral, shear force. Its ram skin interior provides comfort and wear-ability. Best of all, one size fits all, except for Asians. Just slip it on, and she won't be able to pull it off...saw it off...or burn it off. With Cock Lock, your 'wee-wee' won't go bye-bye." (Female voice: "I hate you Cock Lock!")
Poor, poor Asian males. We sure are taking a beating these days, aren't we? Just when we thought all was well after the release of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, a film that actually held Mr. Asian Male in a positive light, out came The Joy Luck Club, re-igniting the current trend in belittling him. If it's not our height, it's our lack of might. We aren't handsome enough, loud enough, considerate enough, paternal enough, aggressive enough, masculine enough, horny enough. Well, maybe not that last one.
So what about this Asian penis thing anyway? Doesn't the world know that we have enough to worry about other than the size of our "wee-wees?" It's bad enough that people think we're overcompensating for our inadequacies by setting outrageous goals in education and profession.
If you didn't quite understand the allusion to the myth of the Asian penis in the mock commercial, then let me clarify it for you. According to the myth, Asian men have smaller penises. Smaller than what? Or, who? Well, that all depends on what standard of measurement you use.
Back in college, I took a class called "Sexual Psychology 230," otherwise known as "Dirty 230." My professor said the average penis size is 5-1/2 inches, when erect. When flaccid or limp, the average size is about 2-1/2 inches.
I decided to do a little (no pun intended) research on the penis. While compiling my data, a woman asked why men feel it so important to worry about the size of their penis. The average male chauvinist pig probably would have written her question off as rhetorical and moved on. I mean, come on! Isn't everyone concerned about the penis? Doesn't the world revolve around the male's sexual anatomy?
Vanity 6, the musical group inspired and created by Prince (or whatever his name is now), made it very clear in the song, "Nasty Girls": "I need seven inches or more."
Through my research, I found one Asian male, a Japanese American, late 20's, who said he has a 7-inch penis. He even offered to show it to me, to which I immediately declined. He boasted that he gained instant notoriety after dating someone in the Los Angeles Asian American community. "Girls would point at me," he said. "It was a pretty big ego boost!"
A Vietnamese American male, early 20's, admitted he was "below" the average of 6 inches. Asked if he was ever concerned about the length of his penis, he simply answered, "No."
A Japanese American female, early 20's, said she has been with two Asian men: a half Filipino, half Chinese in his mid-20's, and a Japanese in his mid-20's. With the 6-inch rule in mind, she said, "Okay, let me think about this. I have to think how long six inches is. Well, I guess they were average. Yeah, they were about average." I assumed that the women's accounts of penis size to be more reliable than the men's.
However, while conducting my research, a homosexual Caucasian man - we'll call him Brian - in his late 30's, volunteered some information. "I would say that from a purely statistical point of view, [the myth of the Asian penis being smaller] is basically true," he said. "However, the smallest I've experienced was on a Caucasian." Brian said that he has dated about 40 Asian men and about 15 to 20 Caucasian men. He added that he prefers Asian men to men of any other ethnicity. "I think that what I've found among Asian men is the absence of really `big ones,'" he said. "But I think if you were to put White men and Asian men on two separate bell curves, there would be a lot of overlap."
Yet, Donna thought the subject of this article was interesting since most of her boyfriends have been Asian. She explained that she prefers Asian men "because they're small." Donna, who stands about 5'1", thinks "body size" has something to do with penis size. "Asian men are not big," she said, referring to their penises. "I guess that's always why I liked Asian men. I strongly believe that that's because of their bodies. Their bodies are not big." I told her the average size for all males is about 6 inches. She replied, "Yeah. They (Asian men) are average."
Donna's friend, a Chinese American female, early 20's, said she currently dates African American men. She made it clear that it is "the whole physical package" of African American men that appeals to her, not their penis size. She said she has dated one Asian male whose penis was "about 6-1/2 inches, but it was big in circumference." Asked if she was familiar with the different ethnic-specific stereotypes, she replied, "Not all Asian men are going to have smaller penises in the same way that not all Black men have huge penises. There are exceptions to every stereotype. Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean I'm going to be passive."
A Chinese American female - let's call her Marilyn - in her mid-20's explained that she hadn't been with a lot of men, but that she had "been very lucky." "Every single guy has been at least 6 inches," Marilyn said. "They were mostly Chinese men. One was 8 inches, another was 7 inches. I guess I've been pretty lucky."
A Korean American male, mid-20's, recalled a conversation with his Caucasian girlfriend. He said they had just finished making love when she brought up the subject of penis size. "She said she had heard about the size myth, and initially she was kind of concerned," he said. "It was something that was in the back of her mind, before we ever made love.
But after making love, she found out it wasn't a problem, that [the myth] wasn't true." He said he was always a little uncomfortable with the subject of penis size because all of his friends who were White had joked about how little Asian men's penises must be. After a while, he began to believe in the myth himself. "It plays on your psyche," he said. "My friends used to joke and poke fun at me and say, `You know how Asian men are.'"
One of the females I interviewed was curious as to what the consensus was on Asian penis size. I told her that the results were about average. Some bigger, some smaller, mostly average though. She was surprised to hear "some bigger." I was talking to her on the phone, but I could just imagine her eyes growing wider with amazement. She was even surprised to hear that Asian men were about average, having heard the myth of the small Asian penis as well.
I have to say that this story was a difficult one to keep objective, being an Asian male myself. My education as a journalist never quite prepared me for a subject like the "myth of the Asian penis." I suppose that if I had searched long and hard, I may have actually come up with more men who were smaller than average.
There is a trick to being objective: don't look for certain results. If a non-Asian female or male were to attempt this story, the results may have been different. People, in general, tend to "find" the results that they expect. It's the self-fulfilling prophecy at work.
I am an Asian male. I never expected to find results that were smaller than average. However, I never expected to find results that were bigger than average, either. I just found what I found: Asian penises are about average in length when erect, with the possible "absence of really big ones."
My favorite interviewee, Marilyn, made
an interesting point about men's penis size, but on an individual basis.
She said, "There is an erection, and then, there is an erection!" Well
L.T. Goto is a Los Angeles-based writer.
He wants everyone to know that the myth of the Asian penis does not apply to him.